Reaching For Heaven

more poem! let me know what you think



I ask you, What is the inner truth?
A soul blows away, scattered to the seams of the wind
The Red orchids, shaken at their stems by a silent zephyr
Shaking the earth, the stems of the Earth.
Under the footsteps of God Man's brittle foundations tremble.

I ask you, What God, but a god of Greed is man's own deity?
Man pursues his doom creating Systems to systematically disestablish
the symmetry of the world and create our colossal dysfunction.
Dysfunction. Dysfunction. Dystopia.
Her clammy hands are shaking, so I croon, "Don't let go darling," my muse.
Autumn leaves feather towards the ground while
The wings of angels dethread and release a dying passion against the storm.

A beautiful firework, we all go out sooner or later.
with a fizzle and a pop or a bang, tidal waves of lifes repercussions
resulting in The destruction of the statues of what once was or never was and never will be:
A man made imaginations colliding with stone hoping only to recreate beauty
but even Rose petals crumbling with age.
The clocks will all stop sooner or later with the end of man
but the will the hands become warped as time continues to press on?
Let go now, my friend. This is goodbye, this is how it always has been.

I ask of you, What is the inner truth?
Am I nothing more than the Cancer I create, or the uneven scratching of chalk on cold pavement?
Or Capricorn. Shivering inside, I clutch to my mistakes, my pains.
Release! I reach towards an empty sky
and The small bones in the fingers of my childhood ache against the bitterness of the world's cold skies
Dystopia, Dysfunction: I can't breathe against the solid tone of hospital monitors.
This burden is mine to carry and protect.
This burden is mine to carry and protect.
This burden is mine to carry and protect.
The sound becomes defeaning, an orchestra of goodbyes, and colors fade into lies
Grey Orchids are under the Grey skies with grey clouds and wisps of ice pass through his little fingers.
That child, all of our children, who I was and who you were all reaching up into the infinite skies crying
God. My deafness, my imperfections, I cannot reach heaven with these arms.
Please forgive me, for my flaws and my hopes
my heart is trapped with December. Please forgive me.



-Joe Hogue

Hey, God.

You and I have some communication issues, I think. There's all these things I try to talk with you about and you're very quiet. I know that you can hear me and stuff, but its a lot harder sometimes to deal with what I'm going through when you're not vocal in your response. I understand that you may never be vocal and that your responses will always be very indirect and when I find them out they will be very awesome.
However right now I'm dealing with being sad. Its very hard for me to let someone go when I love them so much, even if they are or they have been treating me poorly. I miss her and wish her the best, I hope that you are taking care of her. I hope that she meets the right person for her and that she is happy, and for the first time in my life I want me to be just as happy as her. Please help me to make it through these next few years of my life and to do what I can in your power to lead other people to you.

And for you, girl of my dreams, I hope someday to meet you. I don't want anything more than the opportunity to make you laugh, and that will be enough for me.

End Post

Time Misallocation

So I didn't realize until about noon today that it was not wednesday, but rather saturday. This means that something is slightly wrong with my internal clock.

um.

I just watched Babel. blah blah blah misunderstandings and whatnot. Okay saying it that way is an injustice and I acknowledge that but I refuse to press backspace quite a few times. However! I feel that the concept of all of us being connected on an international level is fuckin awesome. Even if all that stuff that happened in the movie was just cause some chick went and suicided, it still lead to everything else. I would complain a little about the politics involved with the movie, but I'm being pretty lazy right now.

Thank you, follower, for your feedback so far.

I am working on being inspired to write my book more. If any of you are interested in reading the first one you ought to let me know so I can send it to you.

Today I ran stairs for a plyometrics work out and when I was done I felt like my body was trying to tell me never to do it again. And then endorphines kicked in later and I was like alllllrrriiiiiggghhhhttt. With that many letters. I'm trying to re-establish a workout routine so that by the end of the summer I will be either super in shape or almost there or something. I want to be in the physical shape I've been trying to get into for 6 years already. Only now I'm actually doing things kind of right. It's my biggest challenge to do routines because when I do them I get depressed and hate myself and that's a big ol' stupid thing.

I miss her and wish she was different. this is unrealistic.

I ALSO MISS MUSIC MY GUITAR HAS BEEN AWAY FROM ME FOR LIKE 4 DAYS

End Post.

Update (Lackthereof)

I am well aware that hardly anyone reads this blog, but at the suggestion of a stranger-soon-to-be-friend I decided to continue writing. I've posted some of my poetry that I had not posted before today, today. So read that and tell me some stuff about it I guess. I intend to use this as a stepping stone before I continue writing my stories and continue putting together my thoughts and my hopes and my dreams.

Denver has been a very amazing place for me. I've met people who I know now that God wanted me to meet. I've learned a lot about myself and about what I want to do in the future and just how big my heart is and just how much it can hurt. That's besides the point. My point is this: go out there and lose yourself in the moment, wherever the moment takes you. God loves you for who you are right now, regardless of all your flaws. No, rather he loves you and your flaws, and loves your flaws. So smile and know that not only is he there for you, but I am.

End Post

Glass

I look through the glass of a monitor and see your face
As if I was looking through a looking glass of time and space
I touch the glass and cannot feel the warmth of your gaze
I try to reach through it and I'm stopped by the infinite
width of an inch and I will never feel your perfect lips on mine again

I tilt this glass back and taste the bitter tang of a liquid memory undone
I laugh and choke a little at all the things I've become
My friends and I pine the night away drinking till we're sick
sick of being sick of an illness called love, and we talk
They may try to get into my mind and find inside what makes me tick
but the fog on my glasses is too thick for them to see the soul in my eyes

I look at myself through the glass of a mirror
and I wonder at myself aloud "why am I here?"
"Why can't she hear me? what am I doing here?"
I blink and myself blinks back
and when I reach to wipe away the drops of agony
and my doppleganger's fears of things from yesterday
I touch the glass and his own fingers get in the way

I throw the picture I held of you against the floor
and the glass shatters and allows air to touch a moment of you
but as I touch what once was a negative and is now your face
I feel the plastic indifferent of my disgrace
and I pick up the pieces of the glass that held you dear
as I remember against my chest I held you near

I look through the glass of my window and see the world outside
and I try to confide in this letter my insides but they writhe
and my tithe never seems to be enough for that guy in the sky
and I can't see him even with a telescope but I hold onto
the thought that he's there and that he cares.

as I step back away from the window
I step on glass shattered from your picture
and glass from the shells of shots I once took
and I wonder if I had taken a different shot things would be different for us and I wonder.
I wander as my feet still bleed and they leave behind unwilling footprints on the ground
so you can always find me, across the grass where we once stood
and kissed under the stars. To that place where I didn't
need a telescope to see my universe, no ball of glass
to see my future inside the perfect glass ovals that were your eyes
and as tears leave my own I stand in this grass we once stood in
and I reach for the stars I could never reach before
and I dream of dreams galore and when I achieve them I will look back
I will look back through my life to a moment where all that mattered
was that I was holding your hand as you held my heart and you laughed.

Faith

I wrote this, recorded it and added music.

tel me your thoughts?

A brief moment in the sun

I opened my eyes to the warm amber of the sun, and the smell of what reminded me of an ambrosian infinity. She was lying her head on my chest and was peacefully unbothered by the rising and falling of my chest as I breathed in her scent. I closed my eyes hoping to remember this forever, to taste this moment and die happy. I wake up, and force myself back to sleep, back to the memory of happiness and pure abandonment from the pressures of life.