Feint

I had heard about the incident on the news, and through the eagerly gossiping mouths of all the kids who were at school the next day. They called it an "anomaly" and an "impossible singularity" that destroyed fifteen cubic blocks of city. At the center of what was one bustling city that became a hollow basin in the earth, a girl was found, bewildered. No one had identified her, and after she was taken to the hospital, she had become unconscious from the shock. No one knew anything, not even her name. When the first pictures were released onto the internet, I was vaguely curious as to who it was, and when I saw her face, I became tense.

I know who she is.

selfish

I am slightly overweight. I have short black hair that i don't ever brush. my eyes are blue most often as of late, and other times green or gray. I have freckles and they are the first physical trait i ever allowed myself to be glad of. i am about six foot one, I have probably an average amount of muscle on my frame. Every moment of my life i have been struggling in some capacity, and i have chosen that as of now that will change. all of my flaws, regardless of how blatant or painful they may be, i will learn to accept peacefully and work on becoming a better person. I will find a place for myself in this world and I will make a difference. i believe that God has something for me in this life, and i want to do everything i can to make the world a better place. I feel that maybe i'm a little narcissistic, that I can be vain and blunt and cruel. i also feel like I don't give myself enough credit for the things I'm good at, i am a perfectionist, and i am too trusting for my own good. I have lived my whole life using statements that begin with "when I (insert acheivement here) then I will (insert something required for feeling good about myself)." This is wrong. i want to start living now, to become who i want to become right now and i want to start changing the world today, tonight. i won't wait for anything else. i won't wait until i'm thinner or six foot two, until i can bench press fifty more pounds or until I have a decent girlfriend. i will not wait until i leave to somewhere different to be who i want to be.

i want to be who god wants me to be.


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