selfish

I am slightly overweight. I have short black hair that i don't ever brush. my eyes are blue most often as of late, and other times green or gray. I have freckles and they are the first physical trait i ever allowed myself to be glad of. i am about six foot one, I have probably an average amount of muscle on my frame. Every moment of my life i have been struggling in some capacity, and i have chosen that as of now that will change. all of my flaws, regardless of how blatant or painful they may be, i will learn to accept peacefully and work on becoming a better person. I will find a place for myself in this world and I will make a difference. i believe that God has something for me in this life, and i want to do everything i can to make the world a better place. I feel that maybe i'm a little narcissistic, that I can be vain and blunt and cruel. i also feel like I don't give myself enough credit for the things I'm good at, i am a perfectionist, and i am too trusting for my own good. I have lived my whole life using statements that begin with "when I (insert acheivement here) then I will (insert something required for feeling good about myself)." This is wrong. i want to start living now, to become who i want to become right now and i want to start changing the world today, tonight. i won't wait for anything else. i won't wait until i'm thinner or six foot two, until i can bench press fifty more pounds or until I have a decent girlfriend. i will not wait until i leave to somewhere different to be who i want to be.

i want to be who god wants me to be.


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