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Practiced Judo today. And then ate. and then practiced judo. And then went to judo class. Four hours of Judo is a lot. I'm glad I did it though. I feel like I need to work harder at everything ever. And that's kind of disheartening. I have an essay to write and Japanese to study for Nihongo. Kotoshi no kyuu-gatu kara san-nen-gurai Koloraado e itte kimasu.
I am most sad when at the end of the day everyone goes back to their room and lies down comfortably and smiles about their day and sleeps. I go to my room and write in my blog and feel somehow distraught, like I can't pick up the pieces anymore. I started praying more frequently, and I'm begging God to help me through all of this. It's very hard.
I missed counseling and never went back. I don't know why, I didn't feel ready all of a sudden. Maybe I should go back, maybe I should sign into a mental institute, but that's being absurd.
I need to start getting things right.
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You need to come, find something to relax i know its like impossible at times, and believe me i know how it is honestly. You can call me i tell you this, ill take a break to talk to you from work friends>Work Like Forseriousnessingess Man just call me, i can talk to you, I love you as a brother man i would give my home and everything for you really you mean alot to me if you feel like you have no support you always have me.
ReplyDeleteSleep well.