Robotics Today

222

I'm pissed.

Okay no robotics today. robotics tomorrow.

I can't put up with emotional rollercoasters anymore. I'm really at the point where with one fuck up, I won't call you anymore. I can't deal with how it makes me feel, especially with all the work I have to do and all the things that I can't do because of that work. I sat up last night for two hours unable to do a damned piece of work because I was miserable. And because of that I was more miserable. I want to get good grades and grow and get to where I want ot be. Staying up miserable is not how I am going to do that.

On a lighter note, it snowed like crazy today. My shoes have no traction so any uphill walking took twice as many steps. It was kind of gay. I don't even have anything happy to write about. I can't think of one god damned thing. I'll post later.


Later.

I talked to Larry Long today, an old friend from my first japanese act class. It was nice, very laid back. Larry's a really good guy. I want to film stuff again. namely building a snowman and then cutting it in half with my katana. I think that's the best way to deal with stress. Cutting snowmen in half. with katana's. That'd be sweet. real sweet. I walked and ran for 50 minutes today, and got about 4.17 miles or so. I am doing better than I have been. Its getting easier daily to keep going, and I'm glad. I hope I can always keep going. I need to so I can feel good about myself. However, I feel like I look fatter. how does that work?

Maybe I've really lost more than two pounds, but it doesn't seem that way because I'm retaining more water. or something. I think if I got down to around 175 or so I'd look really good. but I don't know what percentage of my me is fat and muscle and bone and junk. I want to be able to swim and think "people don't look away when they see my naked chest." Swimming was always nice for me, but as I do more walking and running I think I'm enjoying it a lot more than I did in the past. It may be because I'm no longer calcium deficient and because of this, my calves aren't cramping after five minutes of exercise. It's really nice to know that.

I need a release. I'm gonna play guitar.

End Post